


No Matter What

by lovemesomecas94



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse, Destiel - Freeform, Family, Fanfiction, Insecurity, Loyalty, M/M, MLM Romance, Race Against Time, Sabriel - Freeform, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-05-24 17:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14959128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemesomecas94/pseuds/lovemesomecas94
Summary: It's the apocalypse (no, seriously), and Team Free Will is facing their hardest challenge yet, especially since the Supernatural world is not one they're accustomed to being involved with. Brothers Sam and Dean Winchester had dabbled a little in the hunting life, but ultimately it wasn't for them. Cas, a fallen angel, would rather redesign people's homes as well as love his hunter, Dean, than fight angel wars...and what not.As the apocalypse looms, however, Cas becomes convinced he's only in the way, only a distraction to Dean, and believes he needs to sacrifice the best relationship he's ever had in order for the world to be saved.  Does it work? Read to find out!





	1. Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel returns home from a trip overseas and boy does he have a story to tell. Things heat up between him and his beloved hunter when Castiel discovers Bobby's life is in danger.

Things at the Winchester mansion (no affiliation with the famous one) in Wisteria, South Dakota were at the best they'd ever been. Sam and Dean Winchester, brothers not lovers, both had promising full-time jobs thanks to the education they both received at Ivy League schools; Princeton for Sam, and Columbia for Dean. Their parents, John and Mary Winchester, had been insanely rich, thanks to the surprising successes of both Mary's antique supernatural bookstore named  _Not Natural_ , that before her death had been co-run with John's older brother Bobby (taken over by him after her death), and John's business  _John's Mechanics,_ a string of auto shops now located across the Western United States. The success of both of these places had occurred six years before Dean's conception. Unfortunately, in a freak accident when Dean was four, and Sam a baby, both parents (age thirty-five) passed away. Bobby took the two children under his wing, moving into the Winchester mansion to raise them. 

John and Mary had had a massive life insurance policy in place, so on top of what they had saved from their businesses (which ended up being humongous, as they were determined to have their boys grow up well), the insurance doled out a hefty sum that left the trio  _well_ taken care of.

Twenty-four years later (Dean now twenty-eight, Sam now twenty-four), they had barely left a chink in the sum. Bobby refused to touch it for anything other than necessities, raising not two spoiled, rich men, but humble, down-to-earth men who knew, if not always appreciating, the value of hard work. Dean currently worked for his father's business as the business manager, overseeing all collective operations of the various 15 shops, paying special attention to finances to make sure nobody was skimming; so far, so good. This is what he'd gone to college for.

Sam, on the other hand, worked with Bobby in his mother's book store. He had gone to Princeton to be a lawyer and though he had graduated on that path, he discovered his truest passions lay in that store.

Sam and Dean knew all about the supernatural monsters living in their world. Their mother had left behind a journal that both she and her husband had created together. Mary had been forced to share that part of her life with John when a poltergeist had nearly harmed their first baby. John had adapted well, with complete understanding and forgiveness towards his beloved wife. Upon their death, they were happily married. Talk about goals.

Bobby had been in the life almost as long as Mary. Although Mary had been raised in the life, she had left explicit instructions to Bobby in the event of her death that he not let the boys grow up in that same manner. Bobby, on the other hand, had been rather forced into hunting when his wife had become possessed by a rather violent demon and, at the time, Bobby had been unaware there was a way to exorcise those demons to keep the vessel alive, thus leaving him no choice but to kill his wife. He'd been hunting ever since, vowing to save as many families as he could. 

True to his word, though, he kept the boys from the life with moderate success (the supernatural world seemed so hell-bent on finding and trying to kill the Winchester brothers) until they, the boys, were teens. They had been fed up with the weak lies, and Bobby finally gave in (when those two teamed up, there was not a thing in this universe that could stop them). He showed them the journal, told them the stories, trained them. The boys hunted well, surprisingly; it must have been a genes thing. Either way, it didn't take long for the boys to realize that this was a life neither of them wanted, and Bobby let them go the paths they wanted to take.

When Sam graduated college and also landed a full-time job (Dean having done so already four years prior), Bobby bid them adieu...in the sense of living under the same roof. He missed his privacy, and thus moved into an apartment above the bookstore, living with his black Labrador  Crowley. The boys were sad to see him go but as they were becoming more sexually active, they had to admit it was better without having to worry about Bobby walking in on them. The boys didn't live alone, however. Dean's angel boyfriend Castiel (Cas) also lived there.

Cas and Dean had been dating for almost ten years, having fallen in love at the age of nineteen. They'd met at Columbia. It was tough at first, because they'd met on the wrong foot, and man if Dean couldn't hold a damn grudge; all good now of course. Things were still quite steamy between them, much to Sam's horror whenever they got loud enough...which was often.

Sam had a girlfriend now, a wonderful woman named Jessica (Jess) Moore, but lately things had been strained between them upon his meeting Castiel's brother, Gabriel. Sam was still working through what this meant for him. No, Gabriel didn't live with them.

Overall, as it'd always been, the Winchester home was one full of love. They wouldn't want it any other way.

**_Present:_ **

_Wednesday_

_September 19th, 2018_

The day was a beautiful one, with clear blue skies and cool autumnal temperatures. Cas was in a jovial mood despite the long flight home. The door was locked as per usual (it was always locked even if someone was home) so he used his key and let himself in, immediately calling out so anyone home would know he was an innocent.

"Sam? Dean??" His deep voice boomed loudly in the house. "I'm home!"

His keys jangled against the ceramic bowl on the counter beside the door when he tossed them there. It had been empty until that moment but that didn't mean the house was. Cas continued speaking as he made his way towards the stairs near the back.

"I'm back from my trip to Louisiana!" Checking the living room and the kitchen both were empty. "The woman there was actually from Egypt. She grew so excited by my work," he was an interior designer, working for  _Angel Interiors, Co_.; he was massively popular across the entire United States so that meant he traveled a lot, "she started babbling in her native tongue." His facial features adapted their common look of confusion, and here his speech grew more hesitant, "I...think...she...proposed marriage..."

He made his way up two flights of stairs, down the hall to his right, at the end of which was him and Dean's bedroom, not devoid of humans as the rest of the house seemed. Dean was just coming out of the walk-in closet, a fact that humored Cas momentarily before he noticed the veiled anxiety in his lover's eyes and his expression. Still, Dean forced a smile at him.

"Hi, honey, I sure hope I don't have to fight her for your hand."

Cas chuckled at this.

"Trust me, Dean," he strolled over to where his beloved stood just outside the closet, resting his hands on Dean's waist upon getting there, "I belong solely to you."

Dean's eyes softened and Cas went in for the kiss. Instantly, Cas knew something was seriously wrong because even the kiss was strained. He eased away then, gazing solemnly into Dean's emerald gaze.

"What's wrong, Dean?" He murmured.

It was as if a switch in Dean's brain had been flicked. Without answering, he began to frantically search the room. After about three minutes, Cas yelled in a voice that boomed (his voice just had that quality) in the small(ish) room.

"DEAN!!"

Cas had been far less than 100% convinced that that would work, but it did. Dean stopped in the middle of his return to the closet, and looked at Cas, unhinged terror now in his gaze. Cas walked over to him, and gently took Dean's arms.

"Tell me what's wrong," he coaxed softly, his body relaxing again; Cas didn't like to raise his voice.

Whatever it was in Cas' tone had Dean taking a steadying breath.

"It's Bobby, Cas. He's hurt, bad." 

Cas felt his stomach drop. Bobby was pretty much the last family the boys had. Now it was Cas' turn to try to keep calm. Panic never helped anything.

"What happened?"

Pain was replacing the previous terror.

"He'd been out hunting, and he hadn't been home in a few days. So, we searched for him, and found him just a half an hour ago in a hotel on the bed, near death. Fucking asshole got bit and never called either of us." Dean's gaze hardened. "Did he call you?"

Cas fought his pride's instant offense at the underlying suggestion.

"Dean, if Bobby had called me, you know damn well you'd be the first I'd call." He couldn't quite get his pride to back down again. Dean knew this.

"Shit, man. I'm sorry. Of course you would." He began to look around. "I just need to find that damn med kit."

Cas resisted the urge to face palm. Dean was blatantly missing the obvious.

"Dean." Dean looked at him...and still missed the obvious, so Cas reminded him: "I can heal Bobby. I'm an angel."

It was Dean's turn to be slightly offended. Apparently there'd been something in Cas' tone, not that Cas had intended that.

"Well, excuse me but as of five minutes ago you weren't  _here_  were you??"

"Why didn't you call me, then?"

"Because, Cas, you were  _working_. I can't fucking--it doesn't even matter!! Bobby is dying!!"

"Where is he?"

"We got him back to his place. W--"

In the blink of an eye, Cas was gone, off to heal the last living family member Sam and Dean had (outside each other).

"God damn it, Cas!" Dean yelled to nothing in particular. "You could've taken me with you!" Grumbling under his breath about his beloved pulling this shit time after time, Dean left the room, the garage his destination where Baby awaited him.

He tried not to feel overly annoyed with Cas. After all, the angel was just helping out.

By the time Dean showed up at Bobby's, noting Sam's car parked next to Bobby's, and made his way into the apartment, Bobby was back to normal, completely happy. The trio was parked in the kitchen, the two humans drinking beer, all laughing about something. The laughter trickled off as they noticed Cas abruptly staring at Dean who was glaring right at him. Joy turned to tension, and Sam, ever the peacemaker, angled himself between angel and hunter.

"Now, Dean," Sam said gently, "he saved Bobby." 

Dean's angry gaze never left Cas even as he spoke to Sam.

"Sam, back off, this is between me and him."

Bobby laid a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Best listen to him, son. The angel will be fine. He's a big boy."

Cas immediately looked at Bobby as Bobby removed his hand from Sam's shoulder. The angel looked confused. Bobby knew what was coming.

"I don't understand. I am centuries old. This vessel is a grown man, not a boy."

Bobby laughed. It never failed to amuse him what Cas didn't understand.

"Never mind, Cas. Sam, come on, let's leave 'em to their moment." Bobby lightly placed his hand on Sam's back, urging him towards the entrance that led to the living room, relieved when Sam didn't fight him. They exited.

Soon as they did, Dean went over to Cas, and shoved at him whilst cussing him out.

Cas became more confused while he felt his pride begin to twitch.

"Dean, I don't understand your anger. I saved Bobby."

"You didn't take me with you, Cas!!"

Cas did  _not_ like that tone. 

"Because, Dean, the  _one time_  I did, you complained about it!"

"This is different!"

"How??"

"BOBBY WAS IN DANGER!!"

Cas and Dean were practically nose to nose, both now equally angry.

"You damn humans!" Cas snarled, pushing at Dean. "You say one thing but always mean something else or you say one thing but it's meant for  _that one time only_  but you never outright  _say_  that and somehow I'm supposed to just  _know?!_ "

"You can read minds, Cas!"

"Only when they're fucking praying specifically to me! Dean, I have told you this repeatedly!!"

"Well, _excuse me_  for being so fucking human!! Maybe you should go find someone of your own kind to date since apparently I just cause you so much grief!!" Dean strolled out of the room then, headed towards the front door.

"OH SURE, run away just like you always do!!" A door slamming was the only response. "Ungrateful assbutt," Cas muttered, flying off to a beach in the Caribbean to calm down.

Now alone again, the apartment seeming  _too_ quiet after all the yelling, Sam and Bobby exchanged a knowing glance.

>>>>>><<<<<<

About two hours later, Dean returned, and looked around.

"Cas is not here," Sam said.

Dean slid a look of annoyance at his brother. "I wasn't looking for him anyway. I was looking for Bobby."

 _You keep telling yourself that, Dean_ , Sam thought.

Aloud, he said: "Bobby is at  _Not Natural_." He paused, and then dived in: "Dean, why did you get so mad at Cas earlier? He heard Bobby was in trouble and, being the fastest way to help, he took off just to do that." Seeing Dean was looking at him, Sam leveled a knowing look his way. "He did it for you, bro, you have to know that."

Dean did know that. Two hours had been more than enough time to realize he'd completely overreacted. With a sigh, Dean sat next to his brother on the couch and stared at his hands.

"Finding Bobby hit a nerve I didn't know I had. He's the last family we have, Sam. I...c..." he blew out a breath. This was not easy to talk about, but he was long past, thanks to Cas, putting his feelings into a locked cabinet and trying to pretend they weren't there. "I just got so scared. Terrified. And...I know lashing out at Cas was wrong...it just happened. It was too late before I could stop myself." Dean let out an agonized moan. "God only knows where he is now or if he'll even come back to me."

 _I wouldn't come back to me,_  Dean found himself thinking. He was aware that Sam had put his arm around his shoulders.

"Cas loves you, Dean. Yeah, he was pissed, but at the end of the day, he's yours. Just give him some time. An apology prayer wouldn't hurt, either." Sam patted Dean's back before taking his arm away.

Sam was right. Cas deserved at least an apology prayer. That'd be just the tip of the iceberg, though. Tonight, if Cas came back after the prayer, Dean was gonna woo Cas' ass off...and then some.

>> >> >> << << << 

Cas was sitting on the beach in his full work outfit (suit and trench coat), having been moping for two hours on the beach that had supposed to have made him feel better. He'd gone here often in the early stages of his relationship with Dean, when they'd been fighting almost constantly. Oh, he knew one little fight meant nothing but it still hurt...every time.

He heard it then, his body stiffening with surprise as the voice he knew so well, and loved almost more than the man to whom it belonged, spoke in his mind, a direct prayer.

_Hey Cas, it's Dean. Look, I know by now these words are probably empty because I say them so much but I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I know it hurts you. The second I started I knew I needed to stop but it was already too late, it just poured out of me. You took the brunt of my breakdown and you didn't deserve th—_

Cas located Dean at his house, in their room, and flew in. Dean was on his knees at the side of the bed, his arms resting on the bed hands clasped, head bowed. Upon his arrival, Dean looked up, shocked.

"Cas??"

"Hello, Dean." Cas began to feel the edges of his pain dull, being in the presence of his beloved hunter. Dean stood up, walked over to his angel, and hugged him fiercely.

"I love you, so much, Cas. I'm so sorry. I just, I was so scared and I dumped it all on you and--"

Cas pulled back enough to loosen Dean's hold on him thus allowing him to lean back in and lock his lips with the hunter's. With this connection, since Dean kissed back, Cas telepathically said:

_It's okay, Dean. I forgive you._

To which Dean's arms tightened once more around him. The kiss was bittersweet, but didn't progress further. Dean was the one to pull away after a few minutes, surprising Cas.

"Was I doing it wrong again?" He [Cas] wondered.

Dean looked downright shocked at first and then he let out a laugh mere seconds before stealing a long, sweetly tender kiss.

"No, Cas," he murmured after, "honey, you are a marvelous kisser."

"Then...?" Cas refused to say the words  _what is wrong_  because the last time he'd done that they'd ended up in a fight. Cas was so tired of fighting. 

Dean picked at the tie Cas wore; he loved this tie.

"I didn't expect you to forgive me so quickly...and, uhm..." Cas noted Dean's cheeks pinked. It was adorable, but also a clue-in to where Dean was headed with this. Cas let him, marveling at the greenness of the hunter's gaze as it met his own. "I wanted to romance you tonight. A boutique of wild flowers handpicked by yours truly dressed up with the help of Bobby, and some romantic music of that pop shit you like," Cas started smiling, "a dance or two, then dinner that Sam would help me cook; your favorite dish," which was really Dean's favorite because Cas couldn't taste the food, " and then I was thinking a romantic walk. See from there."

Cas felt himself falling again although he was standing perfectly still on a floor that remained solidly beneath his feet. He knew this was him falling  _in love_ , and the feeling, after ten years, still thrilled him. It also stole his ability to speak, so he decided to simply kiss the man before him.

As Dean's body molded to his own, as their lips moved so flawlessly together, Cas grew aware of a tightness in his pants, and a desire to make love with his hunter. He felt Dean pause in the kiss for just a fraction of a second and knew that he [Dean] could feel the boner. Despite his body's desire, Cas' heart wanted to experience the romantic gesture that Dean had planned. His mind once again inexpressibly torn. It never ceased to amaze how one simple human could instill such strong internal conflict and yet he wouldn't trade it for the world.

Eventually, Dean began to ease up, and for the briefest of seconds, Cas was convinced the hunter was pausing to take his clothes off. He didn't, though his eyes conveyed his own sexual desire burning within. It definitely didn't help Cas' conundrum. Nor did it help when Dean sweetly asked what Cas wanted to do.

 _Damn you, Dean Winchester_  Cas thought. Damn the hunter that appealed as much to his sexual desires as he did his romantic desires.

"I can't decide," Cas said, surprised when his voice came out higher in a slight whine. He blinked in surprise but Dean...Dean was looking at him so hungrily. Hormones began to rage. That's when he heard one thought by Dean Winchester that sent him over the edge.

_Forgive me father, for I am about to sin._

Cas' throat made a growl like sound as his hands frantically pulled Dean's jacket off, then the button down. At the tee-shirt, Cas began to feel frustrated.

"Why do you have so many god damn layers?"

Dean grinned. "Welcome to my world, Cas," he said, striping Cas down to his white button down shirt. Both of them were hard and burning for a release.

Finally they got down to just their pants, and Cas, needing to feel Dean's hardness, and having no patience, undid the fastening of Dean's jeans, carefully sliding then down the hunter's legs. He waited as Dean stepped out and kicked them away then Cas laid a hand on Dean, applying slight pressure at the same moment that he laid his free hand on the back of Dean's head and kissed him. The kiss was short, followed by Cas getting on his knees before Dean and kissing the hardness through the fabric of the underwear. Cas pulled the underwear down, waited as Dean stepped out, and then took Dean into his mouth, Dean's resulting sigh a stroke to his ego. He worked Dean for a while, until the hunter was mere seconds from shooting his load. Cas eased back at that moment and stood up, grinning at the look of torture on Dean's face. Dean surprised him, then, shoving him onto the bed, lubing up, moving Cas' legs out of the way and easing his way in. Both moaned simultaneously, and then Dean began to  _move_. Every time, it took Cas' breath away feeling the hunter fill him so completely.

Within minutes Dean had come inside Cas, body twitching from the orgasm. As he pulled out, Cas flipped them so he was now on top; his turn. Dean, completely at his mercy, grinned, and he wasn't disappointed in the least bit.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The harmony that is the Winchester household does not last, when Sam has a vision that rocks their world.

When Sam arrived back home around eight that evening, he had expected the pair to be home, but he  _hadn't_  expected them to be cuddling on the living room couch watching Seven. Both turned their heads in his direction and smiled while Pitt continued to wittily converse with Freeman on the screen.

"Hiya, Sammy," Dean said cheerily.

Sam knew, absolutely not surprised at all.

"You two weren't in the middle of sex when I came home, were you?" He still wondered.

Cas had returned his attention to the screen. Seven was his favorite movie. He was the one that answered.

"Dean and I had sex five hours ago, a little after three PM. Upstairs in our room."

Sam blinked while Dean closed his eyes and sighed.

"Cas..."

Sam cleared his throat awkwardly. "Th-thanks for answering but a simple  _no_  would've sufficed."

Cas looked between his hunter and the brother, looking confused. "I don't understand. That is what we did."

"Cas, sweetie," Dean started.

"Are you ashamed of having sex with me?" Cas asked him abruptly.

Dean forgot his brother entirely. "No! Of course I'm not ashamed!" A look of concern crossed Dean's face. "Have I been acting like I am??"

Cas thought back and couldn't find a single instance of Dean acting like he was ashamed. He shook his head. Dean ran a hand through his beloved's hair.

"I very much enjoy when we make love, Cas. I have nothing to be ashamed about. Honey, why are you so insecure tonight?"

Cas did not know the answer to that. He tucked his head against Dean's shoulder. Dean pressed an affectionate kiss to his head. Just when Cas looked so innocently up into his eyes and he started to lean in, there was a loud crash from the kitchen as Dean's lips just reached Cas'. Both pulled away and jumped up.

"Sam??" Dean called out with great anxiety.

Upon getting to the kitchen, Sam was in the middle of making out with Gabriel. The term that applies best to describe what Cas and Dean were watching was  _passionate_...extremely passionate. Cas broke away from looking first.

"Uhm, Dean, I—"

His voice startled the pair apart, both looking around wildly, guiltily one might say, until they saw Cas and Dean standing awkwardly in the curved archway. By this point, Sam was massively embarrassed, Cas was uncomfortable, Dean was beginning to grin like an idiot, and Gabriel just looked so proud of himself.

"Sammy," Dean said jovially, as he casually leaned against the door frame, arms folded against his chest, "is there something you wish to tell us?"

Cas was watching Gabriel, mostly confused.

"What?" Gabriel asked him.

"Nothing...I just...didn't...expect...."

"Bro, no offense, but it's not like you and I have ever been super close; you don't know me."

Meanwhile Sam, who  _was_  close to his brother, looked at him with a pleading expression. "Dean, it's not a big deal. Please don't make this a big deal."

"If it's not a big deal, why do you look so incredibly guilty right now?"

"Gabriel, I meant no offense when I said--"

Gabriel waved a hand to dismiss Castiel's words.

"I know, kid. But it's not a big deal."

"No," Cas agreed, his gaze moving to Dean, "it is not at all."

"I'm not feeling guilty, Dean, just surprised."

"Why are you surprised? Dude, every psychologist in the world would label everything you've done since Cas announced our presence as 'acting guiltily', or 'with shame'."

Sam glared.

Gabriel had caught the last few words Dean had said and now looked at Sam with a hurt expression. Sam saw, and looked as if he'd been wounded.

"Gabe..."

"Are you ashamed to be with me, Sam Winchester?"

"No!! Absolutely not!! I, Gabe, this..."

"And what of Jessica Moore?" Cas intruded without thinking.

Gabriel's eyes went wide with utter confusion just as Sam sent Cas a  _'dude, what the hell?!!'_  glare. Dean recognized that Sam and Gabriel needed privacy.

"Cas, come on, we're leaving now."

"But--"

Dean grabbed his hand. "Now, Cas."

Cas stayed silent, following with his fingers intertwined with Dean's, until they were outside the house.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked.

An expression of confusion crossed Dean's face. "Why would I be mad at you, love?"

Cas glanced at the door. "I don't think Gabriel knew Sam is also with Jessica, and that got Sam in trouble, and he's your brother, and..." Cas looked back at Dean, wondering why he felt so anxious today.

Dean remained confused. "If anything, that would be Sam's fault, for not being honest with Gabriel." Dean got a faraway look in his eyes. "Shit," he laughed, "never in a million years would I have figured Sammy having any interest in men, too."

Cas heard the argument going on inside and felt increasingly nervous. "Dean, I'm sorry I said anything."

Dean snapped out of his reverie, took Cas' face in his hands, and said tenderly: "This is not your fault. You didn't know that Sam had hidden his relationship with Jess from Gabriel. That also isn't our problem, it's his. You are really in a mood tonight, aren't you?"

He was. Why, though?

Right then the front door opened, and Dean moved into Cas' space to get out of Gabriel's way as he stormed past, Sam following. Sam stopped at the top of the steps of the porch, looking heartbroken. When Gabe disappeared, Sam turned a nasty glare onto Cas.

"You just HAD to say something, didn't you?"

"Hey," Dean defended, "he didn't fucking know. It's fine if you like dick now, but Sam, hiding your relationship with Jess from Gabe was a really shitty thing to do, and that's coming from ME."

"Exactly, Dean. YOU aren't a saint either." "

"You know what, Cas and I are gonna go to Bobby's for the night, since you need time to cool off."

Sam just stormed back in.

When Dean turned towards Cas, he saw that he was utterly alone. He heaved a sigh, said a prayer, and headed over to Baby while he got out his phone and called Bobby to ask if they could crash there for the night.

>>>>>><<<<<<

Cas, this time, didn't go far. Normally it wouldn't faze him one bit that Sam was mad at him, or that because of it, Sam and Dean were fighting again, but today something was off about Cas, and it was greatly concerning him.

_Cas, sweetheart, I'm headed to Bobby's for the night. Meet me there when you feel like coming back. I miss you._

Cas wanted to go now, but at the same time he felt like such a burden. He hoped watching some of his father's simpler, more innocent creations at the park might help. When after fifteen minutes or so the feelings remained, he called his and Dean's best friend, Charlie; first asking how she was, eventually explaining today's events, and ending with wondering if he was broken. 

"Not broken, Cas, just having a bad day. Happens to us humans all the time. Go be with Dean, kiss, cuddle, make love again. I'm sure you'll be fine tomorrow."

Cas thanked her and took her advice after hanging up. The first thing out of Bobby's mouth when Cas showed up at the apartment and Dean had bee-lined for him and his lips had just reached Cas' was:

"No sex, you two. I don't wanna hear it."

Dean took one look at Cas and knew. Cas needed cuddles tonight.

"No problem, Bobby," Dean said as Cas tucked his head adorably against Dean's neck. Bobby noticed something was up but Dean just slightly shook his head and mouthed ' _He'll be fine_ '. This happened sometimes. It'd be fine.

>>>>>><<<<<<

The following day it indeed was fine. Cas was back to normal, which was good because upon waking and checking his phone, Dean had received a message from Sam about a vision he had received. They arrived home with Bobby following close behind. Sam wasn't surprised to see him.

"You okay, kid?" Bobby asked as he went right for the hug. Bobby was big on hugs.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Well, spooked, but fine."

Bobby nodded understandingly. Dean opened his mouth to ask for specifics about the vision when Sam interrupted, addressing Cas.

"Hey, Cas, you okay?"

"I'm fine, Sam. How are you?"

"Really sorry I blamed you last night for the fight Gabe and I had. Dean was right, it was wrong of me to hide my relationship with Jess from him."

Cas didn't know what to say. Neither did Bobby. Dean saw his chance to change the topic.

"So, Sam, what'd you see in the vision?"

Sam led them to the living room where he had cleared the coffee table to make room for his notepad, his cup of coffee, and about ten books all opened to one page or another. What he'd wanted, though, was his notebook.

"I only saw bits and pieces, but the gist is someone is going to summon a massively old, and massively powerful demon that, uhm..." Here, Sam trailed off.

"Well, spit it out, boy!" Bobby exclaimed.

Sam's cheeks turned red.

"It...manipulates...weather."

Dean immediately burst out laughing. Bobby followed shortly after. Cas, however, was deadly serious and borderline panicking. He had an inkling what this demon was, and...if he was right...

"Did you catch a name, Sam?" Cas asked while the other two continued roaring with laughter, unaware of how serious Cas was. Sam's grin vanished in a second upon noticing. If Cas wasn't even grinning while his lover was laughing (he always grinned when Dean laughed), then this demon was more dangerous than it seemed.

"Uh," he started scanning his notes, "I think I did." He found it a second later. "Here it is. Golgazak."

Laughter began to roar again, this time Sam joining in despite Cas glare.

"This is not funny!" Cas snapped. "This is a very dangerous demon! And Sam, you delivered a gross oversimplification when you said she controls the weather. She doesn't. The myth surrounding her says that because the weather turns drastic whenever she shows up."

The trio wasn't laughing anymore, it beginning to sink in that this was no laughing matter.

"Okay, Cas," Dean soothed, going over and placing his hand on the small of his beloved's back, "tell us about her."

"Please," Sam begged, "mom's store has almost no books on her."

"Because she's only shown up twice in the history of the entire Earth and it took God, every one of his archangels, and half the rest of the angel army to subdue her. The second time wiped out the dinosaurs."

Sam, who'd been drinking his coffee, choked and started coughing. Bobby and Dean were staring at Cas with wide eyes.

"Wait, you mean to tell me..."

Cas leveled a look at Bobby.

"She caused the meteor storm, yes."

The three humans looked at each other uneasily. Dean turned to Sam, trailing his hand along Cas' back to his waist.

"So, we need to stop this demon. Sam, did you catch when she's supposed to be summoned?"

Sam shook his head. "The glimpses I saw, they were all in a room. Like, of an apartment or something. The windows were all covered."

"Damn," Dean muttered.

Abruptly, Cas recalled: "She can only be summoned the night of the Winter Harvest which this year happens to coincide with Halloween."

Dean's eyes lit up. "Really??"

Dean's only thought:  _I can kill this thing while wearing an bad ass costume. Maybe even an ironic one. Wouldn't that be funny?_

Cas studied his partner, as always amazed with Dean's love for the useless holiday.

"Dean, if she is summoned the night of Halloween, this planet is doomed. Halloween is when the veil is thinnest which means she'll be more powerful than ever, as it'll take less effort to free her."

Dean looked noticeably less excited now. Cas hated doing that, but there was no longer time to play around. They had only a little over a month to find a way to stop her.

"Well, I think we could all use some coffee," Bobby commented when the group fell into a silence.

All, even Cas, agreed. When they were seated again, Cas and Dean sharing the couch with Sam, Bobby taking the recliner adjacent, they began their brainstorm.

"Cas," Sam addressed, "what if you went to Heaven and spoke....why are you shaking your head already?"

Cas sighed. He had vowed never to share the following information because he didn't want the boys to lose faith (despite their denials of it, they both were relieved God was real, and both, Sam especially, prayed to him now and again; it gave them something tangible to hang on with), but now he had no choice.

Dean, sensing Cas' reluctance, laid his hand on the angel's thigh for support, and gave a little squeeze. Cas placed his hand there, then leaned over and pressed a kiss to Dean's lips. Maybe it was because the end of their world was arriving in a month but Cas found it difficult to pull away, placing his hand now on Dean's cheek. Dean wasn't helping in the least bit. Cas decided not to fight it.

It took some time, but eventually Bobby cleared his throat loudly, and pointedly said: "Guys, end of the world, remember?? Romance kind of has to take the back burner right now."

Cas turned his head to look at Bobby quizzically, because how could one make a series of feelings into a solid thing upon which to place on a back burner but Dean wasn't done kissing him, using both hands to turn the angel's head back towards him and seal his mouth over Cas'. Cas was rapidly losing his train of thought as feelings of desire replaced those hardwired into him since his creation, those that told him how to be a soldier. There truly was nothing more powerful than love, and it truly did overcome everything. So, he let himself get lost in the kiss.

"Guys, please," Sam begged.

Finally the pair pulled apart. Dean looked as drugged as Cas felt, both smiled gently at each other.

"What was that for?" Dean asked.

Cas shrugged, but Dean already knew, having been feeling the same. If this vision came true, they only had a single month left together.

"Cas," Bobby reminded gently, "you were gonna tell us why going to heaven and asking God for help won't work."

Castiel's stomach twisted uncomfortably. He really, really didn't want to say it, but all three of them were waiting, and he really had no choice. 

"God...doesn't..." Cas' throat felt like it was beginning to close up, what an odd sensation. He forced the breath out, "He doesn't care about Earth."

All three started in simultaneously.

"Doesn't care?!"

"What kind of bullshit answer--"

"No. He's GOD. He created--"

"How the fuck--"

"You're mistaken!! You hav--"

Cas, unable to stand all the racket, flew off to a nearby park and waited for them to calm down. It didn't take long for Dean to ask.

_Cas, come back. Please._

When he returned, Dean walked over and gave him a bear hug. Cas returned it. Then Dean led him over to the living room and sat him down on the couch, refusing to release his hand. Truthfully, the touch soothed.

Sam, as calmly as he could muster, asked: "What do you mean by God doesn't care? How can he not care? He CREATED this place, everything."

And thus, Castiel began his explanation: "Because his sister dared him." All three looked dumbfounded. "Yes, he has a sister. You'll see why you didn't know that in a moment. Before the universe, there were two entities: God, all that was good and light, and his sister, all that was bad and dark. Like typical siblings they had their fights, their good times, and their dares. One of their fights triggered the creation of this universe. They explored for a while, but soon his sister got bored amongst the stars so she dared him to create worlds. He did, but then, being the dark sibling, she set out to destroy his work. Determined to win, he continued creating, and she continued destroying. They worked their way through this universe as such, getting to the creation of our solar system. By that point, she was bored again, and tired of this universe, so she left, disappearing into another universe, leaving God all alone. He doesn't like to be alone, so he created Earth, and you know the rest. Earth is, what, four-point-five billion years old? He's tired of it, bored of it, stuck because his human, angel, and demon creations all need him in some form or another."

"But...." Sam couldn't wrap his mind around it.

Bobby, however, understood.

Dean was quiet, staring at Cas' hand while absent-mindedly playing with it. Cas knew Dean had jumped onto the " _Well, we're doomed, nothing can be done_ " train, which wasn't exactly true.

Bobby spoke, explaining to Sam mostly.

"Just because a male created another being doesn't mean he has any desire to take care of it. He was too concerned with feeling good, not thinking about the consequences. God is basically the first douchebag father.

Sam rubbed his temples. "This is so fucked up."

Cas, Bobby, and Dean all agreed.


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters, Bobby, and Castiel struggle to find a way to defeat that which threatens their world. Dean and Cas get cuddly now that they have so little time left together.

There was an awkward silence in the room before Dean asked if there was a way to convince God to give a shit. Cas smiled sadly at him.

"We probably could but Luci is caged in Hell and wouldn't want to save the planet after it turned its back on him, he especially won't help those that put him there. We need EVERY archangel, so..." He decided to not tell them about how Michael hated everything about this planet and the only reason he hadn't destroyed it yet to create something he saw as "better" was  _Father's orders_. These three seemed freaked enough that God wanted nothing to do with this planet. 

Dean sat back with a heavy sigh.

"The fuck we supposed to do now??" Dean demanded.

Sam spoke before Cas could.

"Well...does she need a vessel?"

Cas met the younger brother's gaze, and nodded. Dean looked intrigued, yet stayed leaning back against the couch. He held one of Cas' hands in both of his own against his lap. Cas suddenly wanted to kiss Dean again, so achingly aware how little time they actually had, but no, he needed to help find them a solution.

"I was just going to tell you that she does require a special vessel."

The mood in the room perked up.

"Now we're getting somewhere," Bobby said.

Cas nodded his agreement and began to tell them about Golgazak's vessel, trying so very hard not to notice Dean's rapt gaze, or the look of total adoring pride in it.

"Her vessel will be someone who excels at everything with great ease. He, it is always a he, will have an interest in old languages, and within the next few days, if he hasn't already, he will abruptly be studying the most ancient of languages, one unspoken by man and thusly not recorded in any books made by man. It has no name—"

"Jefferson Starships," Dean said, interrupting Cas' train of thought completely.

Cas looked upon his lover with great confusion, which was the same look, more or less, that Bobby and Sam were staring with.

Dean was amused by his own comment, seeming pleased with himself.

"What? You said there was no name for the language."

"Dean, Jefferson Starships is a bit...wordy...for a name of an ancient language," Bobby said gently.

Cas was glad he had spoken. Sam would've ridiculed his brother, endlessly. In fact, Cas wasn't sure Sam wouldn't anyway. 

He didn't.

Dean looked at Cas and for some reason, he smiled.

"Mostly I said it to get that look on Cas' face." He placed a hand against Cas' cheek. "I so love that look."

Sam and Bobby groaned, while Castiel, angel of the lord, and a trained soldier, fucking  _melted_  at the words of Dean Winchester. He was rendered speechless, and this time, he didn't resist kissing his hunter. Sam and Bobby groaned a second time, louder than the first.

"We are never gonna solve this problem if those two lovebirds keep swooning over each other," Bobby said with great frustration in his tone.

"You do realize they're going to be inseparable up until the big fight?" Sam said in response. Then he realized that most likely meant the two would be having sex every...single...night. Sam put his face in his hands, groaning again.

"If you need to stay at my place," Bobby offered, "just say the words and the guest bedroom's yours."

There was a pause, and then Sam said: "Bobby, I need to stay at your place."

Bobby chuckled. "Guest bedroom's yours, kiddo."

" _Thank you_." Another pause. Then: "Oh, for Christ's Sake, Dean!"

Dean had without shame, maneuvered onto Castiel's lap. Cas didn't resist the urge to run his hands down to that hunter's fine ass and squeeze. Dean moaned softly which made Cas instantly hard.

"Okay!" Bobby exclaimed, clapping his hands urgently a couple of times, "break it up!! End of the world and shit!!"

Dean obeyed in an instant, but didn't look the least bit regretful as he got off Cas' lap. Cas was glad he was wearing a thicker pair of jeans today. Bobby and Sam exchanged exasperated glances when Cas moved into Dean's space to cuddle, and Dean wrapped both arms around him, kissing his angel on the forehead.

"Oh, stop it, you two," Dean told them, having caught the look. "We can still brainstorm how to save the damn world while I cuddle my damn boyfriend, thank you very damn much." Cas smiled as Dean continued. "Now, Cas, you were saying about the language that has no name."

"Right. So, there is a demon store, seen by only supernatural entities, as it was designed for supernatural entities so cloaked against man that this boy will be drawn to. He will have a mark on his left calf, Golgazak's brand if you will. He will show the guard at the door, and immediately be led to the very book he needs, full of everything he needs to know about Golgazak."

"So, the plan is to...stop this from happening?" Sam asked.

"Unfortunately, the place is warded against angels, and you guys are human, so none of us would be able to do that. However, I was thinking more along the lines of tracking this guy down and stopping him."

All three heard the implication in his tone.

"Cas, this is a human we're talking about," Bobby commented.

Dean rubbed Cas' arm as he spoke. "Bobby's right, hon."

Cas knew this. "We may not have any other choice. If he has the book, she's already talking to him and he may not listen to reason. It should be said....he will have powers."

The trio groaned. Nothing was ever easy, was it?

"I'm afraid to ask..." Sam said.

"I don't know what they will be, I have only ever seen Golgazak after she's inhabited her vessel."

"Damn it!"

"Balls!"

Dean heaved a sigh...and pressed a kiss to Cas' head. The tension in the room was palpable.

For a while, the silence dragged on as the four tried to think of how to do this. Obviously, they needed to find the vessel before Golgazak arrived because once she arrived, it was game over. Problem was how would they find this vessel?? There were no books available to them, so there was no way to map out any patterns to track and capture. Plus...

"Cas, will the vessel even be in the United States?" Sam asked.

Cas' silence as he tried to think if it was a sure thing or not, gave the group the answer they needed. There were seven billion people on the planet, 326 million in the United States alone. Randomly searching would just be a colossal waste of time. 

So now what??? There  _had_  to be something.... Cas hated that he couldn't help more.

"Your brow is furrowed," Dean murmured, rubbing his thumb against the creases between Cas' eyebrows.

Cas relaxed at the touch. 

"Just...frustrated."

 _Useless_.

Dean knew what Cas was really thinking, so he moved his fingers to underneath Cas chin, tilting his head up so he could meet that beautiful blue gaze.

"Castiel, you are not useless."

Bobby and Sam both looked at Cas, shocked he was feeling that way.

"Yeah, Cas," Sam piped up, "without your knowledge of Golgazak, we wouldn't even know of the chance to stop her. We'd be like..."

"Chickens running around with our heads cut off," Bobby finished for him. He reached over and gave Cas' leg a pat. "Without you kiddo, we would truly be lost."

To Cas, though he appreciated the compliment, it was strange to hear a human centuries younger than himself call him  _kiddo_ , all because the vessel was younger than him [Bobby].

"Why do you think you're useless?" Dean asked him.

Cas sighed softly. "Because I only gave you something to start with, not the whole solution, and I wanted to give you guys a win."

"Honey, saving the world doesn't have to rest solely on your shoulders. All three of us are with you. You gave us a fantastic start. Trust me, Cas, that's more of a blessing than we usually have."

"Yeah?"

This time when Dean kissed his angel, the other two remained quiet. 

"Yeah," Dean whispered afterwards.

"I love you," Cas told him. He didn't say it enough.

Dean smiled faintly. "I love you, too."

They shared another  kiss and then resumed cuddling. Bobby and Sam sat back, and the group continued thinking. After a few minutes, Bobby grabbed the remote and turned on the T.V., flicking through the channels until a mutual favorite movie of theirs came on. Though Cas didn't sleep, he rested his head against Dean's neck and closed his eyes. It was just gonna be for a few minutes.

>>>>>><<<<<<

Two hours later he awoke, disoriented. Dean still held him, but they were alone, and he [Dean] wasn't currently aware that the angel was awake; his attention riveted to the T.V. Cas looked, and smiled in an instant. Dean was watching Cas' favorite movie,  _Twister_.

"It's the wonder of nature, baby," Cas murmured, instantly stealing Dean's attention. Dean, who smiled so lovingly at him, warming Castiel's heart in an instant.

"Well, well, well, I thought angels don't sleep."

Cas was confused, too, but then Dean was kissing him, and Cas forgot everything else. Part of him wanted so badly to let Dean seduce him, or to seduce Dean if he wasn't planning on making love, but another part of him wanted to know where Sam and Bobby had gone, find them, and continue brain storming. Cas couldn't decide. Sensing hesitancy, Dean broke away first, eyes conveying confusion and...was that worry?

"Cas, are you okay??" He felt the angel's forehead, but it felt fine.

"You're worried I'm sick," Cas realized. His hunter nodded. "Why?"

"While your insecurity is normal for us...I dunno...angels don't sleep and you passed out for two hours. Then now, you seemed distant."

Cas ran his thumb along Dean's bottom lip. "I wish to make love." Dean looked surprised. "But I also wish to know where Sam and Bobby went, continue thinking of a way to find the vessel somehow."

_We are running out of time._

"They left to hunt down clues to help us with Golgazak. As for the making love...well..." 

Right then the front door opened, banging against the wall, and didn't close. Just as Dean finished getting up from the couch, Castiel right beside him, both ready to fight, Gabriel walked in. The pair relaxed.

"Damn it, Gabe," Dean snapped. "You're supposed to call o—" Gabe touched two fingers to Dean's forehead, putting him to sleep. Cas caught his beloved, eased him onto the couch in what he hoped was a comfortable position, then straightened, and glared at his older brother.

"Gabriel, if this is retaliation for what happened to Sam yest—"

Gabriel gave him a confused look and cut him off. "That had nothing to do with you, bro. He was the one who wasn't honest with me." Gabriel studied Cas. "Have you been blaming yourself for that?" Cas didn't answer. "Castiel, dude, stop doing that. The universe's problems are not your fault. Look, it doesn't matter right now anyway, I'm here to bring you to dad."

"Why??"

"Because he's called a family meeting."

Cas squinted with both confusion and distrust. 

"Dad never sends anyone to get one of his own; he just talks to us directly." Well...orders them around...but still....

That's when Cas realized Gabe had used this as an excuse to try to see Sam. Gabriel saw him figure it out.

"Don't," he warned.

"Gabriel, he's with Bobby on an errand. I thought you were mad at him."

"I am."

"Then why are you here, obviously looking for him?"

"Cas, shut up and get your ass to heaven. You know how dad gets."

"Gabriel, I may be younger, but I have more experience loving a human. It's not easy." 

Gabriel's expression softened just before Cas disappeared, making his way to Heaven where his father waited.


	4. Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchester family finally catches a break they so desperately need, while Castiel deals with family drama; part of which is a jackass father's disapproval.

Contrary to popular belief, heaven is not bathed in this eternal bright white light. Heaven...looks just like earth...only there's more peace and happiness for the souls. They each had their own worlds, which on the outside looked basically like a suburban neighborhood, only people never left their houses, and angels had the overall environment to look after. For the angels, well, it's the same as Earth. There's fighting, discontent, typical drama, etc.

The family meetings consist of Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Balthazar, and, of course, Castiel. Lucifer would've been there, too, despite his fallen status, but Father was annoyed more than usual with him. None of them were really sure why, though. Castiel noticed that Uriel and Raphael were missing, too, leaving just Michael, Gabriel, Balthazar, and himself. They met in a cabin, taking places in various spots in the main room. Their father sat upon a recliner, Cas and Balthazar shared the small couch, Gabriel lounged on the love seat, and Michael, as always, remained standing near their father's side, ever the suck up that one. Outside the cabin it was cloudy and those clouds were dark. Rain would arrive soon. Yes, it rained in Heaven. They had weather same as Earth because God was most partial to the planet, but didn't want to deal with his humans. So, he recreated the environment for himself.

"Where are Raphael and Uriel?" Cas asked.

The lord, having settled into his vessel named Chuck, looked at Cas. "Really none of your concern, Castiel."

Michael smirked, but hid it before his father, their father, saw. Their father hated sibling squabbles.

Balthazar leaned over and whispered in Cas' ear: "I'll tell you later."

Cas appreciated that.

"The reason I called you here is because there's been word that a kid in Labaneze, Tennessee has been spotted with the book of Golgazak."

Cas perked up, and his father noticed.

"You know about this?"

Unknown to him, Cas went to send the location to Dean only to remember Dean was passed out, so he sent it to Sam instead. To his father, he said: "Yes. Sam had a vision this morning about Golgazak. I told them what I knew, and we were trying to figure out how to find the vessel."

"Why didn't you report to me the very second you realized he was talking about Golgazak??" He was furious. "Damn it, Castiel, you KNOW how powerful she is!!"

Cas shrunk from the guy, stung by the fury. "I got caught up in helping them."

Chuck glared at him. "You fool! What could three mere humans do??"

Castiel felt his pride, pride in his three humans, stir. "You have no faith," he said darkly.

Michael laughed. "Castiel, humans are worthless. They're weak. You're an idiot to think they could POSSIBLY stop something as powerful as Golgazak."

Abruptly, the knowledge that Golgazak could not have escaped on her own slammed into his mind. The second time they had trapped her, they had tripled the security.

 Castiel stood, glaring now at his brother. "Who let her out, Michael?"

Michael feigned offense. "How DARE you! She escaped."

"Everybody in this room knows damn well Father made sure she couldn't possibly get out. Now, either you let her out, or you're insinuating that Dad didn't do a good job."

Michael's hands balled into fists just as their father turned in his seat, now suspicious.

"Michael," he ordered.

Michael gritted his teeth as he looked at his father. Balthazar and Gabriel looked as if they wished they had popcorn...even though they couldn't taste it. They were riveted by the drama.

"Father, you can't believe him. He rebelled for a _human_." Michael sneered the word at Cas. "A human he has sex with." The disgust, disdain were both clear in his expression. Cas sought to control his pride. Let Michael judge him all he wants. Cas was very happy with Dean.

Their father didn't care about that. "Michael, did you or did you not release Golgazak after my explicit orders NOT TO??"

Michael looked between Cas and their father, the tension building until finally, their father got tired of waiting, and snapped his fingers.

"Yes!" Michael burst out. "I let her out!"

Their father leapt to his feet and roared out: " _WHY?!_ " His voice echoed not only within the cabin, but most of Heaven.

"Because those humans are flawed!! They're disgusting!! I was giving you a chance to do it over, learn from your mistakes!"

Their father grabbed Michael around the throat and squeezed. "I don't fucking make mistakes," he said in a low tone full of fury, "but you just made a huge one. I sentence you for all eternity in the cage with your brother." In the next second, Michael was gone, though all angels heard his scream die out as he was cast down. All shuddered, even Castiel who had really hated that fucker.

The strained silence in the room went on for a few minutes before Chuck spoke more calmly.

 "Castiel."

Cas refrained from flinching. There were only two things he was afraid of: his beloved dying, and his Father.

"Yes, sir?"

Chuck leveled a seemingly-calm gaze upon him. "Tell me why you trust these three so much?" Cas noticed Gabriel leaning forward, invested now, as they were talking about the one HE loved; whether or not he wanted to admit that he loved Sam Winchester.

"I spent ten years with them.” Castiel looked at his father. “Maybe they aren't active in the supernatural world but they have plenty of resources to kick ass. These brothers, they fight like none other pairing I've ever seen. They are smart, quick, agile, and adapt to unforseen problems VERY well."

Chuck considered this. Meanwhile, Castiel cast a glance at Gabriel, and his thoughts turned to Dean. He was worried.

 >>>>>><<<<<<

Dean woke to someone slapping him, not in a sexy way, on his face. He fought the drowsiness that wanted to linger, and his lack of will to want to fight it, but fight it he did, sensing great urgency before his ears actually registered Sam's voice, speaking in an urgent tone.

"...from Cas. Dean? Dean! Come on!! DEAN!" When Sam was about to slap him again, Dean saw through slits, his hand shot out and caught Sam's by the wrist before Sam’s hand could reach Dean's face again, which was now stinging.

"Okay, Sammy, I'm here." His voice was thick. He released his brother and sat up with a groan. He felt as if he'd been run over...and slapped.

"Dean, what the hell were you doing passed out? Where's Cas?? Did you two have sex?"

Dean gave an exasperated look to his younger brother. Why was he _always_ asking that, like it was the worst thing Dean could be doing? "Sam, if Cas and I had sex and then I passed out, I wouldn't be dressed." He glanced to make sure that that damn angel, Gabriel, hadn't undressed him for appearances, but nope, all clothes were still on.

"Then you, what, just passed out?" Dean heaved a sigh, rubbing his aching temples. "No, your boyfriend," Sam's expression locked down, "charged in and knocked me out. I assume he took Cas. I don't fucking know where or why so chill out."

Sam made a visible attempt to calm down, by taking a couple of deep breaths. "I think Cas is in heaven. He sent some info my way telepathically, about our vessel."

Dean became alert. "He knows where it is??"

Sam grinned. "Lebaneze, Tennessee."

Dean's eyes widened. That was going to be a long drive.

"I think we should get going." Sam said pointedly when Dean didn't immediately jump to his feet.

Dean frowned. "Now? But what about Cas?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "He can FLY Dean. He may already be there waiting. We don't have a lot of time to kill. We need to go. Now." They both had pre-prepared travel bags. Dean went to go get his, Sam following close behind to do the same—their bedrooms both on the third floor. As usual, when they were ready to go, Dean drove. It took Sam exactly ten minutes into the drive before he asked for the full story as to why Dean had been unconscious. Dean had been expecting this.

"Cas slept for a solid hour and a half after you and Bobby left. Shortly after he awoke, Gabriel charged in, gave us quite the fright, and then knocked me out the way those damn angels like to do." Cas had done it on more than one occasion and it never ceased to annoy no matter the angel doing it. "I assume Cas caught me and laid me down."

"That's it?"

Dean shot a sharp look his way. "I was unconscious, Sam. I'm not superman, I don't have super hearing."

Sam tried to hide his grin as he held up his hands in a sign of surrender. "It's kinda funny, though," he said after a minute.

Dean just turned the volume up on his car's stereo, scowling. He sent a loud prayer at Castiel, inching the impala's speed well past the legal speed limit in anger.

>>>>>><<<<<<

_CASTIEL!!!_ The abrupt scream in his mind, impressive from a human, made him cringe involuntarily. _YOU FUCKING OWE ME AN EXPLANATION!!! GET YOUR FEATHERY ASS TO LEBANEZE OR SO FUCKING HELP ME THIS PRAYER WILL SEEM LIKE A FUCKING VACATION TO WHAT I'LL PUT YOU THROUGH!_

 Castiel became aware of every angel, and his father, in the room watching him intently.

 "What?"

"You cringed then your face went blank," Balthazar explained.

"Right in the middle of me speaking to you," their father said, not hiding his disapproval. Castiel, having been lashed out at by his beloved, wanted to relieve this ugly feeling inside of him by lashing out at his father, but he knew that would mean his father would disintegrate him, and Cas didn't want that in the least bit. He reigned in his emotions, met his father's cold, loveless gaze, and did the only smart thing to do. "I am sorry, sir. Boyfriend prayer caught me off guard."

Chuck frowned deeply. "Tell me again why I let this go on?"

"Free will applies to angels, too," Cas said, his voice darkening, as if he actually stood a chance against _God_. He didn't. He started to hope like hell that his father wouldn't send him back to be, erm, recalibrated.

"This human is a grave distraction, Cas."

"No, he isn't."

His father raised his eyebrows. "You were the greatest soldier I ever created. Hell, you were better than intended. Then, ten years ago I sent you on a mission, and within a few months instead of capturing the troubled angels wreaking havoc, you _fell in love_ …with a human." The disapproval deepened. "Then he gets you to rebel, break your training. Now you go around, what is it? Designing houses? You shunned your duties for an unimportant man who's gonna die in forty short years. You are centuries old, Castiel. You are wasting your time. Your talent."

Castiel set his jaw. "I've also never known happiness until I met Dean and he needs me."

They stood face-to-face as they had ten years ago when Castiel had first rebelled, and it saddened that in ten years his father hadn’t budged a damn inch in his opinion of Dean Winchester. Then again, he supposed, that seemed pretty typical in relationships. Parents were going to disapprove of the one their child ultimately fell for.

The silence dragged on between the two, each equally stubborn; they could’ve stood there for centuries and still neither would budge. Unable to take it anymore, Gabriel stood up. Balthazar followed suit since everyone else was already standing and it felt weird to be the only one sitting at the family meeting.

“Okay, you two, table this for now? I think the fate of the planet is far more important than this little squabble.”

Castiel bit his tongue _hard_ right then and there, having almost slipped out with how God didn’t give a shit about his human creations, he hadn’t for centuries. Instead, he took a step back.

“Gabriel is right.”

Their father reluctantly also backed down with a step.

“Fine. Castiel, since you’ve already involved them, go down and help your humans…what are they trying to do?”

“Capture the vessel, break Golgazak’s hold on him.”

Chuck looked unimpressed with that plan. So Castiel added in: “Possibly kill the vessel.”

“That’d be wisest,” his father immediately said.

Castiel felt his stomach twist. Was this how the boys had felt when he’d said…?

Oh.

Abruptly he saw their point. Things were not so black and white. They were never really such.

“They won’t do that unless that’s the only choice they have.”

“Why not?” his father demanded, “They’re fucking morons!”

Castiel cast a hard look.

“Because, _father_ , things are not so fucking simple. If you spent even a few minutes down there, you’d see that! Sam and Dean taught me that there is usually a way to save someone from Supernatural forces. To them, their kind is not indispensable. They actually give a shit.”

_Castiel, go, now_ , Balthazar thought at him in that second. Having seen his own father’s wrath stirring, Castiel flew out, heart in throat. He waited for the disintegration, but it never came.


	5. Part Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up between Castiel and Dean as things heat up with their search for Golgazak's vessel.

The boys arrived in Lebeneze, Tennessee late at night, found a best western motel, checked in under the aliases _Tanger Marx_ and _Henry Hummel_. Sam had been shocked with the randomness of the names, but Dean said he was too tired to think up obscure rock band members. In truth, he was aggravated, hoping sleep would help.

>>>>>><<<<<<

Castiel arrived in Lebaneze the following morning. He would've made it sooner had Balthazar not caught him about three-quarters of the way there, detoured him into a nearby park, and talked to him about what had been going on with Uriel and Raphael. It is not of import. There was also a mention of their father wishing to speak to him after the threat was neutralized, but that was also not of import. Not to Castiel, who really just wanted to be reunited with his hunter. So, upon his arrival, Dean was still asleep. As was Sam, which told Cas, as it was eight in the morning and Sam was usually up by then, that the boys had gotten in late. That was fine. They had a month to subdue the vessel and break the demon's hold. He could let the boys sleep.

"I'll just...wait here, then," Cas whispered softly, his tender gaze upon his boyfriend. As he waited, his mind started playing around with the idea of calling Dean his husband. He found he greatly enjoyed the idea. Ten years together, how had marriage not come up? Of course, now it was a moot point, especially if they failed to subdue the vessel. Still, Cas wondered if Dean ever thought of marriage. Would it hurt to ask if he did??

>>>>>><<<<<<

Dean woke around eleven, none surprised when he discovered Sam's bed empty. He _was_ surprised when Castiel walked through the door. He didn't notice the coffee Cas held, instantly going for the lecture he'd built in his head along with his temper.

"Well, well, well, guess who decided to fucking show up!"

Castiel froze halfway to Dean's bed, the smile fading from his face. "Good...morning?" He said uncertainly. He wasn't sure why Dean was mad at him.

Dean got out of bed and went over to Cas, very angry indeed. "That all you have to say?"

"Dean, I don't understand--"

In a fit of anger unlike himself, Dean knocked the coffee out of Castiel's hands. The cup hit the wall, breaking the lid which caused hot liquid to burst against the wall, running to the carpet and soaking in.

"Dean!" Cas snapped reflexively. "What the hell has gotten into you??"

"Your brother knocks me out, you fucking know I hate that, and then you fucking disappear without any explanation, and instead of sending a reassuring prayer to me that you are okay, all I get is radio silence!! As if that wasn't bad enough, you sent a prayer to _Sam_?? I had to hear from someone else that you were okay??" He shoved at Cas. Not that it caused the angel to move any. "Why the FUCK couldn't you have told me you were fine?!"

Cas struggled to keep his temper in check. "Dean, I was going to send the info your way but you were unconscious. It was only logical to send Sam the location."

Dean wasn't placated. "I wasn't passed out for very long. You fucking disappeared, Cas! I spent HOURS fucking worried about you!! Where the hell did you go??" Cas decided to put defenses up. Clearly Dean was looking for a fight.

"I had to go to Heaven for a family meeting. They are mandatory. If we don't show up, dad disintegrates us. Time flows differently up there, slower. What was hours for you was about twenty minutes for me, and then Balthazar caught me on the way back cos he wanted to keep me in the loop regarding our older brothers and such."

"Were you here on Earth when Balthazar caught you to talk?"

Castiel, with horror, realized he had been.

Dean saw the change in Cas' posture and looked pained. "That's what I thought." He brushed past, headed for the door.

"Dean, I--"

"Go to hell, Cas." The door slamming closed after him made Castiel, a trained soldier, fully flinch. It was then he began to wonder if Dean was better off without him. Before he really had time to fly off to muse, the door opened again, causing him to flinch again, thinking Dean was back for another round; it was just Sam, looking concerned.

"Dean just took off looking furious, you're looking pained. Another fight?"

Cas nodded, his gaze wandering to the door. He wondered if he should follow.

"Let him cool off," Sam advised, "he'll return."

Cas finally looked at Sam. "I'm sorry I upset him again."

Sam looked surprised, mostly because he was, having heard the guilt in the angel's tone. "Cas, couples fight, it's okay. Dean's a grown man, he'll survive." Sam clapped Cas on the shoulder and smiled, albeit awkwardly, and then headed over to the small table with two chairs by the window opposite the beds. On the table waited Sam's laptop, which he opened after sitting down. "Maybe in the meantime, you can help me. You gave us the location, but not the actual vessel." Sam looked at Cas, hands poised over the keys.

Cas felt his guilt worsen. He'd left before the meeting was over. He probably missed that vital information. Sam read the answer in Cas' eyes. To the angel's surprise, Sammy didn't get mad.

"No problem. Going to search high school databases for students that have a GPA of three point five or higher."

"Shorten your search to those with a perfect GPA. Her vessel will be a genius. He may even be a young college student."

Sam smiled, nodded, and went to work. Within five minutes, Sam wrote something down, and then went back to typing. Another five minutes, Sam wrote something down, closed his computer and looked at Cas. "Found him. His name is Kevin Tran. I have his home address."

"Great! I should let Dean know."

"Tell you what, Cas, lemme call him. We have a month, right?"

Cas began to feel anxious. After all, Dean was mad at him for not informing him of important information. He told Sam this.

"Just to be safe,” Sam explained, “in case he's driving, let me call him. We don't know how he will react to hearing your voice."

Castiel didn't feel entirely comfortable with this, but Sam was already calling. It was too late.

 >>>>>><<<<<<

Dean had just stopped at a stop light on his way out of town, when his phone rang. He picked it up from the seat beside him, saw it was Sammy, and answered.

"Bro, before you start with Ca--"

"Nevermind that. Though, he is still here. No. We found the vessel."

Dean would've braked hard if he hadn't already been still. "Are you shitting me??" Yet again the angel had failed to notify him. How long had it been since they'd found _that_ information?? Dean's temper worsened.

"Dean, the whole fucking world hinges on this, no I'm not shitting you! Jesus."

"I'll be there shortly." He hung up. He didn't want to be anywhere around the angel but that would have to go to the back burner. The fate of the world was far more important.

>>>>>><<<<<<

Castiel was confused. "Why would Dean think you were joking?"

Sam shrugged. "Fuck if I know. He's on his way." He cast Cas a worried glance. "Think you two will get along?"

Castiel nodded. Of course he would be on his best behavior. The fate of the world came first.

Dean walked in about ten minutes later, and though Cas wanted, more than anything, to go stand by his hunter, he instead remained on the couch. Dean made no indication he was even aware of the angel's presence. That was what humans called the "cold-shoulder treatment" right?" Castiel stared at his hands, remaining silent. Dean hadn't  _looked_ particularly pissed off but Castiel knew from experience that it was often a cover. One word out of him (Cas) would likely make the hunter blow up.

"Talk to me, Sammy," Dean said, sitting in the available chair at the table, opposite to his brother. Sam cast a worried look at Castiel as he caught Dean up. Castiel nodded slightly, to say _it's okay_ . If Dean noticed any of it, he made no mention of it.

"What are we sitting around for?" Dean stood. "Let's got get that son of a bitch!"

Castiel stood up as well, but Sam remained seated.

"Dean," he said patiently, "It's Thursday."

"Yeah. So?"

Castiel understood suddenly and sat back down. He tried to ignore how it hurt that his movements were all ignored by Dean, who usually always, if not always _consciously_ , watched every move he made.

Dean stared at Sam blankly, so Sam explained.

"The vessel is a high school kid. It's nine AM on a Thursday, and since September Twentieth is not a holiday...”

Dean sighed heavily. "He's still in school. Son of a bitch!" He sat back in the chair. "When's be get out?"

"I pulled up his schedule, and it says his last class is at two-thirty."

Dean sulked. "Great. What are we supposed to do for five hours?"

Sam, already back on his computer, shrugged.

"Fucking awesome," Dean muttered. Still he ignored the angel, who went back to staring at his hands, getting more and more confused as to if he was any good for the human or not.

>>>>>><<<<<< 

At two-thirty, the trio left the hotel and headed down to the impala. As per habit, Castiel opened the back door on the driver’s side.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Dean spoke to him, causing his heart to lurch, “just what the fuck are you doing?”

Sam, on the front passenger side, froze with horror. He abhorred Dean-Cas confrontations. Seconds later he was in the car, waiting for it to blow over.

Cas was staring at Dean with surprise, but he was also very confused.

“I always ride in the back,” he answered his beloved.

Dean’s emerald gaze was as hard as the stone itself, his voice as cold as ice.

“Only people, who keep me in the loop, like Sam did with the vessel info, are allowed to ride. You couldn't be bothered. You have wings, so fly.” Dean got into the car and spun off just as Cas got the door closed, too stunned to do anything else. He stood there while his boyfriend left him behind. Okay, so, yes, Castiel could fly, and he would, but this still stung like hell.

>>>>>><<<<<<

For the first five minutes, Sam (who'd heard what Dean had said) kept his silence. Usually he let the two handle their fights. They worked it out. He usually intervened only to prevent one from physically harming the other or if the fight was getting too out of hand. This fight didn't fall under either condition, but it bugged Sam nonetheless, and he wasn't going to sit idly by when something was pulling at his subconscious, urging him to do something.

"Dean—"

"Sam, don't."

Sam noted Dean gripping the steering wheel too tightly. A sign to back off, to do as Dean asked, as he was seconds from blowing up. Sam pushed anyway. This was too important, whether or not his stubborn brother wanted to hear it.

"Dean," he knew Dean had opened his mouth to interrupt, so quickly, and more loudly than he intended, he rushed out, "I'm going to say this whether or not you fucking wanna hear it so shut up and _let me speak!!_ " He heard Dean's teeth hit each other as he forcibly closed his mouth. When he didn't reply, Sam continued. "So, what you said to Cas," Dean's sharp inhale went ignored, "you're mad at him for not letting you know he was fine, which, okay, fair enough but it was my idea to call you soon as we found the vessel. He wanted to let you know, but I worried you'd run yourself off the road having lost focus reacting angrily to Cas' voice in your head." Dean was quiet, it made Sam uneasy. "So, uhm, anyways, that's basically all I wanted to say."

It was several long minutes sitting in silence before Dean finally said: "He wanted to tell me?"

Sam felt relief surge in. Dean had finally realized the important truth.

"Both times, bro, yeah."

"Oh." Sam stared out at the road, knowing Dean was now kicking himself.

>>>>>><<<<<<

Unlike before, Cas got to the vessel's supposed location before the Winchester brothers. There was a bench on the sidewalk in front of the school and he sat there without realizing how paranoid humans were now about strange men in overcoats hanging outside schools. Luckily, just as someone was about to send out the school's security guard, the brothers pulled up. Castiel stood, strengthening his defenses as the boys got out of the car and headed over. To his surprise, Dean looked right at him and didn't look angry. To his downright shock, Dean bee lined for him, grabbed his face when close enough, and laid one helluva kiss on the angel's lips. It shorted out his brain, leading him to kiss back passionately when logic said he needed to talk with Dean first. The kiss went on for a long time; Castiel loved every millisecond of it. Literally; time was different here on earth. What was seconds for humans, was milliseconds to him.

His hands had started on the hunter's waist, then had moved up into the hunter's hair, and now had slid back down to the hunter's ass, which is what the hunter had done to him. Surprisingly Sam didn't intervene. Eventually Castiel grew worried about his beloved. They'd never kissed so long before, so he gradually began to ease up. Dean fought him at first, but eventually let him pull away. When they finally stopped, Castiel checked the watch on Dean's wrist, and discovered they'd been kissing for nearly ten minutes. It was three-twenty. Dean was staring at him, so many emotions flicking across his face.

Castiel wanted to say something, anything, but all he could think of was: "Hello, Dean."

Dean uttered a low moan and grabbed the angel's face to his once more. This time, the angel became too aware of time being wasted, so he let this kiss go for a couple of minutes before laying his hands on the hunter's chest and gently pushing himself away. Every bone, nerve, muscle, cell in his body wanted nothing more than to kiss Dean like this forever but:

"We have a world to save," Cas said softly.

"The only world I care about is you."

Castiel held that emerald gaze and felt the familiar pull in his stomach and conflict in his mind.

"Dean..." the angel ran his thumb along the bottom lip of Dean's mouth.

"Guys, we have a problem!"

>>>>>><<<<<<

Sam watched as Dean went straight for the kiss, and smiled as the couple reunited again. It was always sweet. However, after a couple minutes neither was showing any signs of slowing down so Sam decided to take initiative and check out the vessel. He had no plans to attack, he just wanted to get a look. He started with going into the building and attempting to locate him by claiming he was an uncle-in-law to the boy. He lucked out that this school wasn't overtly paranoid; they let him know that Kevin Tran was working on the school's newspaper. Upon being told where that room was, Sam took off.

Kevin was the only one there, and Sam hadn't realized Golgazak gave the genius boy full information on him, his brother, and the angel. Bobby hadn't come along because the book store was busier than ever, and he couldn't get away.

"Hi, Sam " Kevin stated, seemingly calm.

Sam stopped short in the doorway. "Uh,” was all he could think of.

Kevin stared at him. "Where are the other two?"

"Out front, making out."

Kevin laughed without humor, sending chills down Sam's spine. Something within him told him to run, _now_ , yet his feet refused to cooperate.

Kevin slowly made his way over. "None of you are getting in her way." He extended his hand at Sam and Sam went flying back into the hallway, slamming against the lockers.

Adrenaline began to pump into his veins as he rushed to his feet and charged, only to go through nothing, momentum carrying him into the editor's desk at the other end of the room. He picked himself up as a disembodied voice said: _"You'll never find me in time."_

Sam swallowed hard. This was not good

>>>>>><<<<<<

Both blinked at Sam's breathless tone and looked at him. His usually styled hair was disheveled.

"Sam, what the hell?" Dean asked. His hand snaked down to Castiel's and intertwined their fingers together. Castiel glanced down at their hands and couldn't stop the smile that formed. Dean gave his hand a squeeze, furthering the angel's relief.

"Well, you two weren't breaking apart any time soon, so I thought I'd go check out the vessel. Do a bit of reconnaissance. Only he knew I was coming. He knew all of us were coming." Sam met Castiel's gaze. "You were right. She gave him powers."

"Where is he now?" Dean asked.

Sam swallowed hard. "He's gone."


	6. Part Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it rains, it pours. Castiel blames himself for what happened regarding the vessel and takes the action he deems the solution to the problem. It backfires, and an alternative solution must be found before time runs out.

Dean stared at Sam with wide eyes, his face conveying his shock. "He's gone??"

"Yeah."

"SON OF A BITCH!" He screamed.

Several people looked with unfriendly glances but nobody approached. Dean wanted to punch something but the only thing close enough was the car; he'd never punch Baby. Without another word, he headed to his car and got in. The other two quickly followed, not wanting to piss him off further, only to have him take off without them. He recklessly turned a corner as the light changed from yellow to red, the rear end of the car fishtailing slightly before correcting. Then he was gone.

"God damn it, Dean!" Sam hissed. "How the fuck am I supposed to get to the motel now?!"

Castiel waited for Sam's brain to make the connection. When it did, he said nothing, merely putting a firm arm around the man's waist and flying off.

>>>>>><<<<<<

Dean had been at the motel when they arrived and he wasted no time in demanding an explanation from Sam. Castiel listened as the pair fought; knowing the real reason for this epic failure was his own fault. It was clear that he was the bad element in the group, and they'd be better off without him. He'd wait until things cooled off with the pair before notifying Dean.

It didn't happen for hours.

Sam ended up leaving shortly after the fight, and Dean ended up following a few seconds later, headed straight for the town's bar. Castiel followed (he had no idea where Sam went), to drive Dean home again. Dean didn't drink a much as he usually did, but apparently enough to take the edge off. When they returned to their empty motel room, Dean came onto Cas, and knowing this was going to end, Cas indulged in one last love making session. He put his all into it, pleasing Dean as much as he could manage; which actually worked against him, because thoroughly satisfied, Dean fell asleep afterwards.

It was nearing seven P.M. and Cas could delay no longer. He got out of bed and began to dress. Just as he finished putting his trench coat on, Dean stirred.

"Cas?" He groaned.

"Hello, Dean," Cas replied. The pain in his chest for what he was about to do to the greatest man he'd ever met was already drowning him.

Dean adorably looked confused.

"What are you doing out of bed?"

"I need to leave."

Dean rubbed his eyes, struggling to wake up. "Where are you going?"

Cas heard what the hunter hadn't said.

_I'm going with you._

Sure enough, a few seconds later, the man was making his way around the room buck ass naked (Castiel memorized every inch of the beautiful human) picking up clothes and putting them on. He let him because the man was about to get his heart broken, it wouldn't be nice to do so when said man was vulnerable physically.

When Dean was dressed, and started heading towards the door, Impala’s key in hand, Cas stopped him.

“Dean, you can’t go with me.”

The man turned back towards his lover, suspicion beginning to seep into the expression on his beautiful face. Cas internally agonized over this decision.

_Maybe this isn’t the way to go._

_But it is._

_But…maybe it isn’t. Maybe I’m not as bad as I think I am. I mean, Dean himself has said humans get insecure all the time but it’s always just their own minds lying to them._

_Castiel, Golgazak’s vessel got away. Because of you. You need to leave, for the sake of the world._

“Cas…” Dean said worriedly. “Why can’t I go with you?”

“Because…” Oh god, he really didn’t want to say the words. Not after ten years. Not after just considering marriage the day before. How could things have taken such a wrong turn?

_You need to do this. Save the world. He needs to not be distracted. Break up with him._

Castiel attempted to swallow, the lump in his throat making it difficult.

“I’m breaking up with you.”

Dean’s eyes went wide, his mouth fell open, and his breathing caught.

Castiel’s eyes felt…weird. His own breathing was struggling. His chest felt like he was having a heart attack which, of course, was preposterous. Angels didn’t have heart attacks. It didn’t help that he saw the pain in Dean’s eyes as the man struggled to comprehend.

“W…wh…why…are you…?” Dean couldn’t finish; his breathing now erratic.

“Because I’m no good for you; you’re distracted when I’m around and only you and Sam can save the world. As proven by today’s events. Sam shouldn’t have gone in alone, and wouldn’t have if you hadn’t been distracted in the moment, by me.”

“That’s not your decision to make, Castiel,” Dean said darkly, anger quickly replacing the pain. “Not alone. We’re a couple. We _talk_ about these things first! You are not breaking up with me just because Sam made a mistake! He could’ve fucking waited for us to finish.”

“We made out for ten minutes, Dean!”

“SO?!”

“So, had you not been distracted, you would’ve talked Sam out of going in, out of confronting the vessel head on. I’m the one you were mad at earlier today; I’m the one you were making up with. _I’m_ the one distracting you from saving the world.”

Dean grabbed Castiel’s trench coat with both hands, furious.

“Listen to me, you feathery piece of shit, YOU are not the sole reason for all of my problems! YOU don’t get to make decisions for me! I’m a grown ass man! _I_ decide if someone is a distraction to me! NOT YOU! You are NOT breaking up with me just because you've gotten insecure again!”

Castiel, set firmly in his beliefs, gently wrapped his hands around Dean’s wrists and broke the man’s grasp from the trench coat.

“Goodbye, Dean,” Cas murmured softly, pressing a kiss to the hunter’s forehead before flying off.

He got as far as his office at Angel Interiors, Co. before the tears overcame him.

>>>>>><<<<<< 

Dean, on the other hand, went into a flying rage. Without any consideration at all, he trashed the motel room, grabbing anything he could grab and throwing it. When at last the heartbreak won out, and he collapsed to the floor unable to stop the sobs, the damage included a broken window, a broken bathroom mirror, a shattered TV, both lamps shattered against the wall, several dents in the wall, the chairs completely destroyed as well as the table they once adjourned, and…unfortunately, Sam’s laptop.

Dean didn’t care.

He couldn’t fucking breathe.

>>>>>><<<<<< 

When the tears finally ebbed and Castiel got his vessel looking normal again, he called his brother Balthazar down. One look at the other angel’s face, and he knew.

“You know Dean and I broke up, don’t you?”

“It’s not often an angel cries, so when one does, it kind of…reverberates across heaven.”

“Great, more shit for father to fight me about,” Cas muttered. He was sorely tempted to shove everything off his desk, but instead remained stoic, keeping his raging emotions, emotions he wouldn’t have if he hadn’t been sent down here in the first place, inside.

Balthazar went over and hugged him, something that was pretty uncommon for him to do.

“Cas, hug me back,” he ordered.

Cas did so, feeling like as if he was no longer controlling his body, merely an outsider looking in, watching someone else make all the moves for him.

When Balthazar finally pulled back, he slapped the back of Castiel’s head.

“What the hell was what for?!” Cas snapped.

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?”

Cas stared silently, not comprehending and yet…sort of comprehending.

His brother let out a sigh.

“You just broke up with a man that, for the first time since your creation, gave you a purpose, a real purpose, one you actually cared about.” Castiel remained silent. "Why would you do that?!”

He relayed the day’s events, and ended up getting another slap on the back of the head.

“Now you're a blind idiot! For fuck’s sake, Castiel! That wasn’t your damn fault!”

Castiel went to argue but instead decided to move the conversation away from the unpleasant topic.

“What’s done is done. But I need you to take my place. They need an angel to capture Golgazak, one that won’t distract from the mission. I want you to go help them.”

Balthazar studied Castiel's face, and knew when there was no changing his mind.

“You’re really going to walk away? What are you going to do?”

“My job, here on Earth; there’s a bunch of people in Europe requesting my help, so tomorrow I’m going to talk to my boss about being relocated to their offices over there.”

Balthazar looked pained. “Cas, are you sure this is what you want?”

“This is what the world needs, Balthazar. Go help those two save it. I’m no good here.”

Balthazar sighed heavily.

“Fine; I will help them.” He grabbed Castiel in another hug. Castiel didn’t hug back, and Balthazar didn’t order him to this time. “Take care of yourself, brother." 

In a second, Cas was the only one left in the office. He sat down in his chair, and waited for the boss to arrive the following morning.

>>>>>><<<<<< 

Sam returned around nine that evening and, to his horror, discovered the entire motel room trashed. Even worse, his laptop hadn’t survived the attack. Dean was sitting on his bed, staring at the floor. It’d been obvious he’d been crying, which was such an unusual sight to see. Knowing something was up, that those tears had nothing to do with their fight, Sam approached, and quietly asked:

“What happened, Dean?”

At first it seemed Dean hadn’t heard him, but just as Sam was about to repeat the question louder, he spoke.

“Castiel broke up with me.”

Sam heard the sound of a car suddenly braking and knew it was just in his mind.

“Excuse me?!”

Dean continued to stare at the floor.

“Said he was a distraction, said the world couldn’t be saved by us if he was around, said what happened today was his fault.”

Sam was struggling, massively, to wrap his mind around that logic.

“But…it…what? How does that… I’m the one…”

“Yeah, I know,” Dean shot a glare at Sam. “ _You're_  the one that fucked up, but for some damn reason _he's_  the one taking the blame.” Dean went back to staring at the floor.

“And, uhm, the room?”

Dean didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to. Sam decided he’d try to find Castiel, try to talk some sense into that angel. Just as he was about to do just that, Balthazar showed up, just about giving him a heart attack.

“Jesus Christ!” He snapped. “Would it kill you angels to use the god damn door for once in your lives?!”

Balthazar hadn’t been listening, too shocked by the state of the room.

“What the hell happened here?”

Dean looked at him with the most ferocious glare Sam had ever seen on the man’s face.

“You wanna know what happened? Your stupid, idiotic, moronic, asshole brother happened!”

Balthazar remained calm, though Dean was now standing, fists curled tightly at his sides.

“I agree with you, Dean, he is definitely a moron. I tried to get him to change his mind but he’s convinced.”

Dean let out a strangled noise, sat back down on the bed, and buried his face in his hands.

“I’m here because he’s sent me in his place.”

“Sent you here in his place?” Sam echoed, not comprehending. Too much was going on, his brain was struggling to keep up.

Balthazar looked gravely at the hunter. “I’m here to help you save the world.”

“FUCK the world!” Dean snarled. “Let it fucking end!”

“Unfortunately, I cannot.”

Dean looked up, startling Balthazar who’d never actually seen a human in so much pain.

“I’m not saving the god damn world,” he growled. “Why the fuck is it up to me? That is not fucking fair!”

“What if I told you all you had to do was show up? I know where the vessel is, I know how to prevent him from disappearing again, I know how to break Golgazak’s hold. It’s a three-person job, and two of them need to be humans.”

Dean groaned.

“What if I told you that it’ll be over in less than a week?”

Dean didn’t reply, so Balthazar turned to Sam.

“Sam, time is of the essence. For this to be successful, we need to strike now.”

Sam knew Dean was going to be useless, but that didn’t mean the end. “I know a guy who can help,” he said. He wasted no time in calling.


	7. Part Seven: The Final Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this final installment, we see what came of their efforts to save the world. Were they successful? Or did they fail?

The world still existed on November first by noon in Paris where Castiel was located, four in the morning where the Winchesters were located in Phoenix, Arizona (Balthazar had kept him updated; Golgazak preferred hot temperatures and thus rose in those kinds of locations), and by November fifteenth, two weeks later, the world was still standing. Castiel heard the angels still rejoicing and ended up shutting off the ‘angel radio’ as Dean liked to call it. It was a good thing that the trio had succeeded…so why was Castiel so unable to rejoice, too?

“Because the one thing that meant the world to you, you gave up to save the world,” Balthazar said suddenly, making Castiel jump in his chair.

Castiel gave him a glare. “Would you stop reading my mind?”

Balthazar pulled up a desk chair from the adjacent desk, and straddled it, facing Cas.

“You need to come home, bro.”

Castiel gave him a hard look.

“I’m not going to Heaven,” he said firmly.

Balthazar rolled his eyes. “No, that’s not home. _Home_ , Castiel.”

 _Wisteria, South Dakota_ , Balthazar’s voice sounded in Castiel’s head.

Castiel felt the pain flare in his heart, and lost the ability to breathe for a moment. He was in massive agony, but still believed this had been the right choice. After all, he’d been right.

“You can’t be serious,” Balthazar said angrily. “You still believe _this_  the right choice?!”

“Look around you, Balthazar. It’s obvious. Dean was no longer distracted, thus able to save the world.”

“ _Dean_ didn’t do jack shit, you fucking twat!”

Castiel stared at his brother, shocked. “What?”

“He refused to help because you’d left. Your leaving stripped _his_ world of anything that meant a damn to him. _You_  were his reason for fighting. With you gone, he stopped caring. He was fully willing to let the world burn. We had to get Bobby to help.”

Cas couldn’t understand this. “But…”

“You were wrong, Cas, and you need to fix this.”

For a split second he considered it, but ultimately he decided against it.

“It’s too late,” he said softly.

Balthazar uttered a noise and then flew off.

>>>>>><<<<<< 

“How’s he doing?” Bobby asked Sam, seconds after stepping into the house. Every day Bobby stopped by, and every day, he asked that same question. Every day, Sam answered:

“The same,” he said worriedly. They’d saved the world. It actually hadn’t been so bad. It had involved summoning the vessel into a trap—similar to what they did with demons—and then exorcising Golgazak’s essence. The hard part was destroying the essence, but they’d done it. It’d taken on a physical form floating over the unconscious boy as they chanted before erupting into bright pink flame and disappearing a second later. Balthazar had checked, and the threat indeed was neutralized. The boy had come to a few minutes later, completely confused. They got him home safely, of course, covering his absence with the excuse of a last minute newspaper field trip to Washington D.C.

Anyways, Dean had shut down. He spent all his time in his room and only ever came out to use the bathroom, shower, eat, or go to work. He said nothing. He avoided looking at Sam. If Sam tried to attempt to talk to him at home, it was right back into the room. It’d been like that since Castiel had left, and Sam had hoped after the world had been saved that Castiel would come back, but so far, two weeks later, he was a no show.

“He can’t live like this,” Bobby said quietly, watching as Dean sulked by, a plate of food in his hands, retreating back towards his room.

“I don’t know where Cas is,” Sam said miserably, feeling helpless, “he won’t respond to my prayers.”

The hardest part of all of this was listening to Dean crying most nights. Dean almost never cried. It was…disturbing.

“Yeah, he’s ignoring all of us.”

“We need to get Dean to him,” Balthazar said, appearing suddenly. Both humans jumped about two feet, both glaring at the angel.

“For once in your life, Balthazar—!” Sam started, only to be interrupted.

“Yeah, yeah, would it kill me to use a door, yada yada. Look. I told Castiel what’s been going on. He still won’t come. He says it’s too late. We need to get Dean to him. He needs to see what his decision is doing to the man.”

“Where is Cas?” Bobby asked.

“Paris, France,” the angel replied.

“Paris?!” The humans chorused.

“Yes, working. Guys, time really is of the essence here.”

Sam sighed. “Dean won’t talk to any of us. How do you propose we get him to Paris, France, of all things?”

“I got it.”

Balthazar went up into Dean’s room, discovered the man looked surprisingly alert. He was packing a bag.

“Dean…”

“I heard you. I’m going to Paris.”

Balthazar blinked, utterly surprised.

Dean slid a look his way, his face gaunt, weary; he hadn’t been sleeping well at all. “Don’t get any ideas. I’m going there to tear him a new one. He doesn’t get to break my heart and just get away with it.”

Considering this job done, Balthazar headed downstairs, let the other two humans know, and then flew off again. He decided not to warn Castiel, because he agreed with the hunter. Castiel had this coming.

>>>>>><<<<<< 

On November seventeenth, it was a Saturday, Castiel’s one of two days off, and the angel was sitting at an outdoor café, sipping coffee he couldn’t taste. Humans grew uncomfortable with a man sitting alone not doing anything, especially one wearing a trench coat. He shouldn’t have cared what they thought, but he did. He liked coming here because right across the road was a pond, and in that pond were ducks and swans. He liked watching them. Nature was always so beautifully simple.

A man sat down in the adjacent seat. When Cas went to tell the guy he wanted to be alone, he was stunned into silence upon seeing Dean Winchester impossibly sitting before him. Well, what resembled Dean Winchester, anyways. The man before him looked older than twenty-eight, and was far too skinny. He looked gaunt, one could even say he looked haunted. There were heavy bags under the man’s eyes, which meant he hadn’t been sleeping well in a while.

Castiel was afraid to speak.

Dean solved that for him.

“Hi asshole,” he said darkly. “Bet you’re surprised I’m here, aren’t you? You look surprised. Yeah, you didn’t think I’d ever find you, did you? Well guess what, you mother fucker, surprise!”

Castiel felt the twinge of nerves, though he knew fully well he deserved all of Dean’s wrath at the moment. He didn’t know what to say, though.

Dean continued anyway.

“So, world is saved. No thanks to you, no thanks to me thanks to you. I told you that you were wrong but you didn’t want to listen. Noooo, Mr. Soldier knew all the right answers to the problem. Didn’t bother to check to see how the rest were feeling, just went ahead and did whatever the fuck he wanted! How the fuck is that working out for you?!”

Patrons around them ignored them. Outbursts weren’t anything new at this café.

Cas knew saying sorry wasn’t going to be anywhere near enough to make it up for what he’d done to the hunter. His silence wasn’t a good choice, either.

“Do you even fucking care, Castiel?!”

Castiel shot him a look.

“Dean, of course I care! I did this BECAUSE I care.”

“What the fuck kind of logic is that?!”

“I get that it doesn’t make any sense to you. I can’t explain it so it makes sense. I just…”

“You’re a fucking bastard, you know that?”

Castiel looked down at his hands.

“I know,” he said quietly.

“And what kills me is I still love you despite this shit!”

Castiel looked up so fast he momentarily made himself dizzy. “What?!”

“I planned to come here to chew your ass out like you fucking deserve but now that I’ve done that…” the anger seeped out of the hunter’s gaze, leaving a longing Castiel knew far too well. “I just want you to come home.”

Castiel felt sensations he was convinced he’d never feel again. Sensations only one human had ever given him.

“Dean…” Words eluded him.

“You did a stupid thing to try to save the world. It would’ve backfired had Bobby not stepped in. You’re an idiot. I’m still fucking mad at you, but I understand your intentions were good. They’re always good. You just…ironically…got blinded by your emotions. For an angel, you are so incredibly human. It boils down to the fact that the world was saved, the threat is over, and all I want now is for you to come home. I need you, Cas. I’ve always needed you. You’re the only thing on this planet in my life that ever made it worth saving in the first place. Please. Just—”

Castiel leaned across the small round table at which they sat, and gave Dean Winchester a passionate kiss. Relief flooded into his heart when Dean immediately kissed back, replacing the searing pain that had been there all month. All at once, Castiel understood just how stupid he’d been. He eased back to say sorry, but Dean was already ahead of him.

“Cas, just shut up and kiss me,” he muttered, already pulling the angel back to him.

The angel obliged.

 

Upon arriving home a couple of days later, Dean asked Cas to marry him. The pair married on November twenty-fifth. Bobby got ordained as a minister, the ceremony was kept within their family and a couple of Castiel’s brothers. After that, the world needed saving a few more times, but Castiel knew they were stronger together, no matter what.

 

_**The end.** _


End file.
